wow…apparently I made a mess
So…fooling around with a couple….If figured it was mainly a sexual thing, you know? I’m young and hot, they’re older and not that hot…so they wanted a piece of young meat. Apparently they actually liked me and were thinking of me as more than a FWB situation…..Wasn’t that way for me -_-…..I don’t know how the hell it got here. I feel bad, but come on. There wasn’t that much between us for them to be this upset. Don’t know what the hell is going on over there.
On the other side, the guy I went out with (friends with the others), has been talking to me more and throughout this. Wants to keep talking to me…
Not sure why…apparently I just F*** things up
I don’t know right now, I’m just going to go to bed
Date went well…kinda
To be honest, it went well. We hung out and talked and had dinner and it wasn’t that awkward…but I can’t help this feeling of incompleteness…
I was expecting him to make a move almost the whole time…he wasn’t physical AT ALL….At the same time, I wasn’t being physical with him, but I’m still kinda in the state of I’m not sure what he wants or how he wants to go about this. We talked a lot about exes/past relationships and all of his were about his actually dating a guy, rather than sexual escapades which says that he wants something more so maybe he didn’t want to do anything sexual this time (which is okay)…I just don’t know though. His text messages before we met were on the suggestive side of things which made me think that he would take more of a lead…but then he didn’t and I wasn’t sure what to do.
…….That was my night
I have a date tonight
Had a date/meet
Didn’t go that great. He was kind of a bore……..
It was with the older guy that I’ve been talking to
He was a good kisser though
Great…now I’m talking to a 45 year old
……………what am I doing……….
what to do…what to do
crushing on this guy….
want to meet this guy…
proposal for play with these guys….
I hate not having money
There’s so many people I want to meet and hang out with….and I just can’t cause I don’t have money for gas…and if I have money for gas then I don’t have money for food/drinks/activities……..
Soon….very soon. I’ve started work so things will get better…until then I guess I just struggle through it.
In other news…I asked a guy if he would want to meet me. This is a guy that wanted to meet me before but I was talking to San Diego at the time and didn’t want to talk to two guys at once. I should have because this guy is someone that offered to drive down to meet me. But…stupid me decided to choose the guy that I thought was better looking. The guy that offered flirtatious texting over real life conversations…
Unemployed and broke
But I still want a Valentine
S.A.D. here I come